The Lie Clock

A Senator died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move. We use it to judge potential residents."

"Oh," said the Senator, "who's clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

The Senator said, "Whose clock is that?"

"That's George Washington's clock. The hands have only moved once, telling us that George Washington only told one lie in his entire life, you know that cherry-tree thing."

The Senator said, "Well, whose clock is that?"

"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Honest Abe only told two lies in his entire life."

"Here's another one with just one lie...whose clock is that?" asked the Senator once more.

"Oh, well that's Bill Clinton's clock. He told a big one but one that all men would tell if cheating on their wives."

The Senator pondered this for a moment, then asked, "Where's George Bush's clock?"

St. Peter replied, "It's in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.