I've had a little something on my mind lately, oh, no biggie, like which liar is going to take over the White House or which amendment is being "canceled" today - I save that for rational thinking IF there's any such thing any more.
I didn't notice it for a while but once I did, it seemed to be everywhere..."everywhere" defined as the only television channels I can bear to watch on the idiot box any more. Those include CSPAN (only the hearings they WANT you to see), the History Channel, Comedy Central for real news, (and also because I have an odd crush on Lewis Black), The Science Channel, National Geographic, the Murder Channel showcasing true crime featuring some gorked out psychiatrist who's developed an "Evil" scale that the pysch nurse in me likes to put on simply for laughs - I wish he'd read M. Scott Peck's book, "People of the Lie" for if he had, I wouldn't have to look at him, and, last but not least, the cable news channels when I need an emetic and colonic cleansing running concurrently.
By now, I hope you know that the garbage shown to you via this medium is owned and operated by a handful of the best corporatists you'd ever want to meet, so it's no surprise that your news comes from the views of whatever some zany zillionaire wants YOU to buy into as well...that's a whole other story but if you don't know that story by now, then please, this is not a blog for you. I trust my readers come to me somewhat well-informed (or, because you can't resist the opinions and commentaries presented to you in what in my opinion at least, is simply a snippy, snotty little voice)....and good on you! At least you have a good sense of humor!
But let me cut to the chase. Those channels, minus the cable magpies, seem to have changed, and rather subtly it seems, their programming to include such things as:
EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT HITLER (from "our" view of course)
HISTORY REWRITTEN FROM THE RIGHT WING POINT OF VIEW
SHOCKWAVE (hey guys, don't you know by now that NOTHING shocks us now whether on a wave or a breaking news item?
THE UNCLE SAM CLUB AKA MILITARY CHANNEL
ROGUE WAVES THAT MAY BE COMING SOON TO YOUR SHORE
TSUNAMI, TSUNAMI, TSUNAMI - COME ON IN, THE SURF'S FINE
CREEPY CROWN CORALS THAT MAY CRAWL OUT OF THE OCEAN AND SUCK YOU DEAD
THE BIBLE CODE - PROPHESIES THAT KEEP YOU AWAKE AT NIGHT WAITING FOR 12/21/2012
BLACK HOLES THAT WILL STRETCH US ALL INTO DISAPPEARING GUMBYS
THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT 9/11 HIGHLIGHTING THE BEST LIES GOING (hey NORAD, STAND DOWN..please?)
PLAGUES YOU NEVER DREAMED EXISTED AND THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY and you DON'T want them.
THE EARTH AFTER MAN CROAKS COSMICLY AND COLLECTIVELY...as if you'd care.
LOCKED UP ABROAD...a guide for coping when you're LOCKED UP HOME
LOCKDOWN!!!! - How to survive in prison avoiding lasers, tazers and the "hole"
THE. TERRORISTS. Our GREATEST fear of all...except for those collapsing icebergs of course.
PRISON POETS, PROPHETS AND PRIESTS...nut such a bad place at all, huh?
And you know what makes me craziest of all? Wouldn't you think that a channel called The Discovery Channel might offer you actual things you might "discover" or learn? Well, think no more. If you want to know how to keep from falling overboard as you reach for that juicy crab claw dangling at you from the depths of the deep, dark sea at midnight, then THIS channel is for you. Because Goddess as my witness...no matter what time of day I happen to stroll through the channels, "The Deadliest Catch" is running what HAS to be 24/7!!! because the coincidence of finding it as often as I do can only be with the intention to teach us that we all really do have another employment opportunity when your job goes overseas. Or, it's a message from god of some kind. He talks to everyone else, why not me? But in the end, at least you'll be safe on the boat if you decide to go WITH your company. Maybe.
There really is so much more than I'm mentioning here but regardless, doesn't it make you wonder? As if it's not bad enough that the cable news is 24/7 propaganda but REALLY! What's up with this? And, get this...you may THINK that any of these shows are only on the particular channel you choose to view but if you pay attention, you'll find that they're rerun on the SAME channels I noted in my opening. I can't even get STARTED on the commercials shown on these "educational" channels because I haven't taken my meds today but trust me, they're every bit as bizarre as the programming itself.
I know lots of you may be thinking that a small boat flailing around in the dark on the rolling seas might sound appealing to you at this point but I feel obligated to inform you that you do have another option. If you like to drive, and you don't like the heat as much as I don't, then there's a job out there for you too. You think driving an 18 wheeler might be a gas, pardon the pun, just for a quick rush down I-95? Well, get yourself to L.L. Bean, pick up a few beaver hats, roadkill insulated jumpsuits and jackets and you, too, can be roaring along the ice roads over the Arctic Ocean as an Ice Road Trucker! Unfortunately, the sound of cracking ice as they rumble down these man-made roads may be a bit disconcerting but hell, isn't that the thrill of it all? And don't worry...it's nothing like a documentary or anything...it's pure soap opera all the way...except on ice. More power to these brave men, and fishermen alike, because without them, we wouldn't be able to dine on mercury laden fresh fish all buttered and lemoned up or get those oil rigs up and running in ANWR and get rid of these pesky polar bears once and for all but for god sakes, is there ANYTHING educational out there anymore? I don't know...maybe I'd be better off tuning into Nickelodeon - at least Father Knew Best and Lucy was Loved and Lassie ALWAYS came home.
Does anyone know if Alex is ok? He's the Catholic Ice Trucker...but I heard he ran into some trouble out there and damn, I missed it!
Official end of rant
Note to commenters...as you know, I do moderate comments here - only to keep the spam out - and right wing lunatics too but I've been informed of a glitch whereby no comments are getting through to me. I allow both positive and negative comments unless you're utterly vile (which is rarely the case) but I'm in the process of trying to resolve it with the owners. It's got to do with a "tag" glitch so no, Miss Montana, I do not censor my blog as much as you'd like to think I do. Hopefully, it will be resolved soon but Blogger.com deals with thousands of issues a day so it may take a bit. Just be patient and hang with me...we'll get it fixed and if you really have a burning need to reach me, you can do so at Rkymtnmary@aol.com and I'll go in and post your comment. As to the NSA? YOU already know where to find me and to that I say, fruck YOU!
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